A couple of Sundays ago, I woke up about 4:45 to a loud sound. One of those hard to place noises that make you think someone is breaking in, you know what I mean? Of course, my first thought is “That’d be stupid. It’s nearly dawn (too light for a break-in) and…well…I have a gun in arms reach. And, I’m cranky when I’m woken up..or rather, whenever I’m awake.”
Not wanting to be uncautious though, I took said gun and walked downstairs in the dark to investigate. I find nothing, but hear a very odd sound from the basement. Like rain on the bulkhead. But it’s not raining. I’m still bleary-eyed and foggy, so “oh-oh” hasn’t occurred to me yet, just more of a “hmmm, how curious”.
Leaving the weapon upstairs – I figured it wasn’t a thief taking a piss in the basement, after all I have 3 bathrooms he could use – I turned on the light and ventured down. I turn the corner at the bottom of the staircase, and what do my wondering eyes behold? I have a fountain. Odd, I think, I didn’t BUY the fountain option with the house. Stealth upgrade?
The water comes into my house through the basement wall via black plexi-hose. It couples to a metal fitting and then to a water meter. The water meter couples to another metal fitting that transitions to the copper piping. This entire fitting (transition piece, water meter) had fallen off the copper pipe. It fell off. IT FELL THE FUCK OFF. (Picture attached).
This spun me, to steal a line from someone else, into a dimension of pissed off that I had never seen.
After testing to make sure I wasn’t going to be electrocuted (see the electrical box perched near my new fountain? I threw a puppy in the water to see if it would die) I got the water turned off. Attempting to reconnect the fitting to the copper didn’t work – it stayed on, but wouldn’t stop leaking. I figured the internal washer was hosed, because the copper wouldn’t properly seat and I needed to replace the upper fitting.
I spent the remainder of the day searching for a replacement piece to the upper fitting. Of course, it’s nothing they sell at hardware stores, you need a plumbing supply shop, so no joy there. I brought the piece home, took it entirely apart, and figured out how to reseat the washer so the copper would connect properly. Then, I used some parachute cord to tie up the big metal framework so gravity doesn’t pull it back off again.
Long story, short motto: before you buy a house, make sure the builders aren’t mouth-breathing idiots with hammers.
Unfortunately the pictures don’t show the plume of water, as I had already turned it off by then, but the wet concrete wall clearly show where it was splashing!
